A few days ago, I read the comments on a friend's Facebook page wherein another person had attempted to pry out personal information. I watched as the poster very tactfully evaded answering the questions from the postee. I'm like, damn, back off!
It reminded me of the interactions I had when I was an internet virgin. Since 2006, I've seen so much online, and have lived to tell the tale. Many of you may remember Yahoo! 360? A hot bed of messiness. Back in the day when I used to frequent IM, random folks would just pop up in my status window to chat, or appear on my page and make weird comments. I had some dude who called himself "Joe" from the United Arab Emirate. As I was fairly green at the time, I allowed him to speak to me from time to time. One day things turned ugly as I saw his cartoon avatar turn into the blank white form. Then he threatened to harm me! Uhhh...shit!
And then there was another character who was cool until I figure he stopped taking his bipolar medications. He stalked me through my page to get to another blogger. It scared me so much that I left blogging for a while. Hell, not everyone in cyberspace are what they present themselves to be.
I still consider myself one of the friendlier folks online (pats self on back). I'm eager to meet new people, gain new insights into other cultures/lifestyles. At one time, I chatted with a dominatrix and her sex slave. She was a really nice lady who loved cats just like me. Problem being her sex slave kept creeping out of my closet, licking my shoes, or crawling from beneath my skirt. He served morning coffee with sugar, and LOTS of cream! But...he was a nice guy. (LMBAO)
Through the years, I've come up with my very own internet rules of engagement. Here they are:
1. Unresponsiveness. If you just sit on my page week after week without uttering a single word (not even a wave, or that you're still "alive"), I'll delete you. I recently deleted a fellow who was cool, and then went dead. I left a note on his page, and messaged. He didn't respond, so he's gone.
2. Flirting. Okay, don't get me wrong. I LOVE flirting! I do it very frequently, but if (and only if), I've known you for at least 6 months or more. I want to make sure you ain't gonna appear on my doorstep with a woody. I had a dude say that my cheesy, gap-toothed grimace was "amazing." You could see the plaque build-up on me teethies; that's how absurd his statement was. Ya, right! That made me feel like a used piece of toilet paper, so I flushed him.
3. Threatening violence. Well, that's more than obvious.
4. My humor, my page. Many folks can get their panties in a winch with the things I find funny. If you're reading this post, you're probably cool. Besides, I've made sure to show the parental guidance page before anyone enters my world. It can get raunchy. I had more folks "unfriend" me on 360 or Multiply because they thought I offended them. My page, my rules! Don't leave nasty comments about my conduct...just leave!
5. Exhibitionism. I love looking at naked body parts just as much as any other pervert. Add a sprinkle of sexual activity, I'm more than good. But, don't show me your "stuff" without getting explicit permission. I had this chick show me a picture of herself squeezing her titties together in one gigantic, amorphic mound of flesh. I'm like, DAMN! I didn't ask to see your business. It just came out of the blue: Her face; then knockers. I could have done without that vision. Til this day, I still have nightmares. She was immediately "unfriended."
I have several friends I peek in on to see what's happening with them, leave a note, a wave, a hug, or even a flirt. I make myself visible: Let you know I like you. It makes me smile when they do the same. Hey, I ain't no stalker...just a groupie! (LOL)
We all have our very own set of rules for interactions online. And though I've written only five, there are several more that I employ on occasion. I'm fairly flexible in bending the rules from time to time, but not about the exhibitionism. Please, don't show me your stuff!
I recently watched a show entitled "Japan: Robot Nation" on CurrentTV. Some of the information piqued my curiousity. It was reported that Japan is experiencing a marked population decrease. There are several reasons for this, but I will concentrate on the lack of sexual activity on the part of fertile adults. It is predicted that in 100 years, the Japanese people will no longer exist. Men and women are simply not engaging in intercourse. However, men and women are still having sex: But by themselves!
There's been an insurgence of sex toys that both men and women are using for sexual gratification. No need for a messy partner when you can have clean, neat sex by yourself. No commitment, no wining (or whining), no dining. Just pleasure. It wouldn't be a bad thing if a great majority of the population weren't engaging in masturbation.
There is also a rise in the production of "robotic citizens." The Japanese have developed life-like machines to serve as caregivers, maids, companions, and even a substitute labor force. They have even created robotic pets! And lets be real, if they are using sex toys to climax, why not humanoid contraptions? I can see it now: A ship-load of robotic sex slaves sailing westward, and eager customers anxiously awaiting their very own non-committal, plastic doll!
It's a matter of intimacy, or lack thereof. There is a disturbing distancing the Japanese are creating regarding human interaction. A separation of individuals by means of robotics. However, self-pleasuring has become an exported commodity which is leaving not only the bedroom lacking a partner, but creating a worldwide societal change. Why bother establishing a relationship with another human when all you have to do is turn on your machine? When you're finished, put it away for another time. What do you think this means regarding entire nations which choose not only to be spouseless, but also to masturbate instead?
On a species level, this will surely spell our demise. We've lost the human element: The need to touch another person. The want of making a connection to fellow humans not only on a physical level, but a spiritual one. To bond. The Japanese often set the tone for technological advances, so it's just a matter of time before planet Earth will be smelling like used plastic discard.
And to think a steely dan and a few "C" batteries were the reason for our extinction? We don't need an asteroid to finish us off!
I recently had a conversation with an elder who I've known for several years. As we talked, she spoke of her travels to Antigua, and the beautiful, dark skin of the residents. I watched her eyes glaze over as if revisiting a past she was never a part. She spoke of rape: Rape of females by many different ethnicities which caused our Black skin to be the hue it is now. She also spoke on how we as Blacks have forgotten what it was like; the atrocities we suffered as a people.
Are ethnicities of blended races created by centuries of rape?
This conversation was very troubling to me on many levels. Why would she bring up this topic at this late juncture in her life? Why does she speak like this, and then associate with those she deems as the oppressor? Is she correct in her assumption that as a culture, we were created from acts of violence?
This isn't the first time I've had conversations with elders who seem to fixate on the past wrongs of history. The old folks recall things not only from their past, but that of an entire culture. Maybe they're venting years of pent-up frustration in their own circumstance: Trying to "clear the air" so to speak, before their own demise?
I do believe that the further removed we are from slavery and outright racism, we have a tendency to "forget" the miseries of antecedants. In a previous blog post you may recall my watching the characters across the street that hang out without purpose. It is quite clear they haven't a clue, nor a care, as to what happened 400 years prior. But these are not the only kindred which I feel have lost their way. It's as if there's an ancestral genocide in progress. Our fragmented roots being further broken by not only distance, but time. I met an African several years ago who told me that American Blacks don't remember their past. I have a tendency to believe him.
So what are my thoughts on this topic? I feel as though we were created not only by the violent acts of a few, but through mutual consensual encounters. Not downplaying the rape aspect by no means, but not using this sordid fact as the sole means of our existence.
But we all have our own opinions, our own way of viewing life. Looking at it with a skewed perspective serves no purpose, but creates this negativity that I can better do without. I'm from this time, and not that of those who have come before me. Their experiences greatly differ from mine. I know the people who raped our ancestors are long since dead, and not to make these abuses the primary focus of the present.
Remember, be humbled, and continue your journey...
A few days ago, I shopped at the infamous WinCo where prices are as cheap as the people you find in the aisles. I was just there to buy a few groceries when I see this deliciously yummy individual hidden amongst the produce. He had those eyes, and a warmth about him that made him stand out from all the others who surrounded him. Uhhhh, and he looked great, too!
And before you pass judgment, let me say this. I'm just saying what y'all are thinking. I'm a wee bit more vocal than many of you, and have a tendency to express myself a little more readily than the average person. I think there are only a few of you that know where I'm coming from. That there are some people who have that "MMMMmmmMMM" factor. They exude sensuality and sexuality without even saying a word. It's not so much as how they look, but that they're a person that will make you stop your busy life if only for a glance; to take in their essence. Breath in their aura, no less.
I have a short list of those who (at least for me) have that "MMMMmmmMMM" factor:
5. Dave Navarro: Something about those deep brown eyes and pierced nipples does it for me! Though I think he's a freak, he portrays someone who is very emotional and caring. Plays a mean guitar, too.
4. Common: This brutha brings a smile to my face every time I see him. His music is warm, just like his eyes. A person who I'd just sit and watch a while.
3. Marian Gold (Alphaville): A soulful man who wears his heart on his sleeve. Very honest in the way he conveys his emotion through his music. I've been dying to meet this man: One day, I will.
2. Lenny Kravitz: One fine brutha, and one hell of a musician. There's something about the way he carries himself which makes him attractive.
1. My Husband: Don't think this an obligatory add to my list of yummy men. I wouldn't have married him if he didn't have the "MMMMmmmMMM" factor. Sexuality and sensuality all wrapped up into one neat, tidy, ACCESSIBLE package! (LMBAO)
All these men don't have to try to impress as what they are is not seen, but felt. Expressed through their eyes, through their gestures, through just being emotional creatures. Whether you admit to it or not, I'm sure you've had times when you've seen or met someone who just did it for you. You just couldn't place a finger on it why he/she was of interest to you. Hopefully this blog will clarify what was going on at the moment when your mundane life stopped: And took in their essence...
Another 2 a.m. thought. Not that I want "2 a.m." thoughts, but I haven't a choice. Why, you might ask? Well, it's like this. I am awakened at least three nights a week by the bar across the street. Young men and women who seem like they haven't work or school in the morning because they're in the parking lot with BOOMING bass, loud talking, tire screeching, and an occasional brawl. The activity has been so noted by officials, but nothing in particular seems to be done regarding the disruptive behavior of the bar's patrons. So, I frequently call the authorities to come handle their business with these idiots. During the day, I take exception to the throbbing bass of car stereos, but really get pissed off when that shit is blasting after 10 p.m.; bouncing through my windows and rattling my walls (and nerves). The tribal and city police are as regular there as the regulars.
So why this blog. Yesterday with yet another episode of racket, I began to think more from a clinical standpoint than that of an irate neighbor. Their behaviors may go deeper than their obviously knuckle-headed actions. I think those who engage in such activities may be sociopaths. The following text is quoted from eHow:
A sociopath is a person who completely disregards and violates the rights of others while refusing to conform to societal norms.
1. Notice if the person exhibits a lack of conscience. Signs of sociopathic behavior are usually present in childhood, so take note if you witness a person torturing or killing animals, showing no emotions when something bad happens to someone else, or showing no guilt or remorse for any of his own actions.
2. See if there is a pattern of irresponsible or poor behavior, including doing poorly in school or on the job. Other behaviors to look for are recklessness, impulsivity and participation in illegal activities.
3. Pay attention to the person’s personal relationships. Many sociopathic people have an inability to love or have lasting personal relationships. This is because they can be very manipulative.
4. Recognize patterns of pathological lying. Sociopaths will continue to lie about things even if they are caught doing them. They can also be very charming and get others who are blind to their behaviors to side with them.
5. Notice if a person has an inflated sense of self-importance or narcissism. A sociopath behaves as if he/she is the only person who matters and he/she will have complete disregard for everyone else. Although he/she has the ability to charm people, he/she will take advantage of them at the same time.
6. See if the person exhibits a need for stimulation by engaging in risky or dangerous behaviors. These behaviors can be sexual or just thrill-seeking. Sociopaths tend to get bored easily, which is why they seldom complete tasks and seek out forms of excitement.
It suits these barflies to a "T." Either they have total disregard to others' right to peace and quiet, or they are not aware that their behavior is disturbing others. In either case, there is a major problem that we as productive citizens have to deal with. How to manage those who are content to create discontent. And to give them the same rights they are more than willing to take from us? A hard-sell to those who are awakened by their obstinance.
And then there are those who follow the ill behaviors of others just because they are doing it? Maybe only 1 out of 10 who participate in this behavior are sociopaths. What does that say about the other nine who follows these mentally ill offenders? To me, that's the scary part of this whole scenario. Those that are knowledgeable/aware that they are doing wrong but since someone else is doing it, they feel it's a free-for-all. History will show that there is one individual or a small group that usually dictates the larger groups' activities. Can anyone recall WWII and the dictators who shaped the mindset of millions? (sorry, I digress)
*back to 2011 and my neighborhood*
Look at it this way: What happens when these people disturb the sleep of our children? These sleep-deprived youth may be our future doctors, lawyers, or scientists. They may never actualize their full potential as their lack of sufficient sleep directly effects their ability to concentrate. He/she could have been someone destined for greatness, a world-changer, finding the cure for cancer, no less. We may never know what damage those lost sleep hours have caused. Who knows: Maybe as youths, some of the rabble-rousers across the street were sleep-deprived?
So, it's 5:12 p.m., and I begin to say prayers for a good night's sleep. The urge to sedate myself is a strong one that I can resist on rare occasion, but usually give in around
9 p.m. just prior to the beginning of the show. I often find myself peeking through the blinds at the spectacle across the street. I can usually tell if there will be a 2 a.m. awakening by the amount of cars in the parking lot. With summer being the worst time for these disruptions, I feel blessed by the rains which clean the streets, and that damnable bar parking lot. Of those who would loiter beneath the "no loitering" sign.