Total ridiculousness! There aren't many topics which chap my hide as
much as that of a whiney, out of control teenager complaining about being
disciplined. As Americans, we are taking children's right to be
autonomous way too far. When do we as parents/adults have the right to
discipline?
Back in the day, I remember when parents not only had the right to spank
their kids, but even the principal's office would take a swing or
two. I'm going to tell you something, when you knew all the adults in
your life not only the right and/or obligation to discipline your
ass, you straightened up: QUICK! Today, you can't only not
spank, you can't even tell a child that they are out of line for fear they'll
call Child Protective Services (CPS).
Rachel Canning, a New Jersey high school honor student, is suing her parents
for abandonment, demanding they provide financial support and pay for her
college tuition. She also claims she was forced to leave their household
once she turned 18. Her parents say she was a willful child with whom
they tried to instill rules to stop her rebellious behaviors. Long story
short, she's at odds with her parents because she wanted to break house rules,
party, and live with her boyfriend. Ha! I think the boyfriend's
family are idiots for taking in this willful child, and they will live to
regret it. But that's for another blog post. Where did Rachel's
parents fail so that she thought she could run to others for support of her
childish behaviors? Should the court actually intervene on her behalf to
seek a financial remedy of which she made of her own volition? Time to
feel the real sting of not having the shelter of your parents' nurturing,
Rachel! In other words, you reap what you sow. This is where adults
come into play: Though the courts aren't allowing us to take
charge. Instead, they reprimand us for taking a strong parenting
role.
I know of someone going through a similar situation.
She and her husband took in a foster child with behavior problems and
like Rachel, had her own idea how life should be led. She's been very
defiant; difficult to redirect. As they encouraged her to go to
school (as opposed to skipping it); not to lie, cheat, or steal (she already
had a felony on her record); and for God's sake: To clean her room, how
did she repay them for opening their home to her? By calling CPS!
Today, children know that overzealous investigators will indeed come out,
thusly gaining the juvenile response they wanted by getting their caretakers
"in trouble." When speaking with another grandparent, I had to
chuckle when she told me she handed their granddaughter the telephone, gave her
the number to CPS, and lastly, told her to pack her bags to go with them!
I'm not sure that the powers that be realize in allowing children to
become autonomous before they have a full grasp of all the consequences of
their actions/inactions is criminal unto itself. Without proper guidance,
they are left to their own devices and let’s face it, if they were capable of
making proper choices, they wouldn't get into the fixes in which they
often find themselves. Adults make fouled choices, too, but the
difference being is that we know better!
There needs to be a better plan in helping children grow as productive
adults that doesn't involve the legal system. Untie our hands: Let
us parent!
Today my husband showed me a photo his long-haul trucker brother texted him of a young brutha
on a HUGE billboard outside of Kansas City, KS. Why was he there? Not
because he was a celebrity, but he is Kansas' most wanted criminal!
Young man, only 23 years old, wanted for two murders (amongst other
crimes). How did he end up being a "wild animal thing?"
What
I've been so noting with the youth of this generation is that they live
for drama. There doesn't seem to be a need for peace and enlightenment
like in the 60s; they stir the pot until it's overflowing
(attention-seeking behavior)? The violence associated with this drama
is appalling, but the apathy is even worse. They don't care. But, why
should they? The current mindset of the establishment doesn't allow for
second chances. Yes, many folks get "caught up," but those who have
the money are allowed to have their hands slapped, then continue on with
their lives (even get their own t.v. shows or a memoir about their
experience). Meanwhile, those who don't have the means to buy their way
out of legal or financial troubles are left living under bridges! Lets
face it, why should these young folk care? In a country wherein the
citizens would pay $3,600 for a Superbowl ticket, but are unwilling to
pass a levy to improve their schools shows that there is a disconnect.
What's more important? Watching a football being tossed back and forth,
or assuring that our young folk are getting educated so that they may
take care of US in the future?
College? What is that?
Definition: An educational goal unachievable by the masses. It's
almost as if the lower/middle classes are being targeted to fail. When I
was up and coming, just about everyone had the opportunity to continue
their education past high school. Now a young person has to beg,
borrow, and/or steal to get the chance to further their education. I
grew up back in the day when education was a right, NOT a privilege.
Jobs?
Another right that has been denied by the powers that be. The greed of
a few leave us without roofs over our heads and sleeping in cars. When
there are not only homeless men forging through garbage cans, but
entire families left to suffer at the hands of indifference, there's a
definite problem that needs to be addressed.
The internet
can be a blessing and a curse. Petty crimes are now being used to keep
adults from acquiring employment. Along with this, employers often
times do not hire full-time workers, making parents work 2-3 jobs each
to make ends meet. Thus, children are left to raise themselves. With
no adult to guide these kids, they are left to form their own image of
what a man or woman is.
So, this is just a start of how
youngsters become wild animal things. Attention-seeking behaviors
result in dire consequences. What are we to do? Without basic needs
such as food, shelter, education, employment, and love, society will
continue to disintegrate. It's a shame because I can see the future as a
nightmare. Until we start addressing the fact the opportunities we
were afforded before the 90s are not being offered to our young ones, we
will continue to see the decline in our society which is wrought by the
uncaring, greedy corporations and political systems.
At some point in our lives, all of us are subject to mental illness. Believe it or not, it's an underlying condition for any one of us which can be triggered by stressful circumstances. This can sometimes lead to being professionally diagnosed. The operative words are "professionally diagnosed!" So many use the term "depression" without knowing the true meaning. Having a short term period of the blues is NOT depression. Please read the excerpt from WebMD which describes the signs/symptoms of clinical depression:
Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
Fatigue and decreased energy
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
Irritability, restlessness
Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
Overeating or appetite loss
Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
This blog post is referring to what I call learned behavior. It's best described as attention-seeking conduct. There are so many who fail to follow through on what they should do; often times replacing their wants with their needs. Often times, the results of living by poor choices result in said person feeling what they construe as being depressed. They are often moody, lash out at others for their sense of inadequacy, and isolate themselves from those who care about them. They refuse to take accountability for their own action/inaction, and blame others for the precarious positions for which they may find themselves. By saying they're depressed, they mask what's truly going on: An inability or unwillingness to management their personal affairs.
Proper life management can be an essential element to avoiding the use of mind-altering psychotropics and/or mental health counseling. Knowing the things we can or cannot change, and making appropriate life decisions may be paramount in maintaining good mental health. Not saying that ALL mental illnesses are "curable" by these means alone. But with those of us who are not mentally unstable due to natural chemical imbalances CAN control the onset of mental illness by making decisions which are healthful ones.
Take control of the direction your life is headed. If need be, seek the advice of a life management counselor who can assist you in addressing the concerns which make you feel inadequate. And definitely don't blame others for your circumstance. You have more control than you think!
My husband and I watched the fireworks from across the street at the postage stamp-sized tribal property. The parking lot was filled with those who bought fireworks to light off, and employees of the smoke shop/bar and grill. There were some lovely displays of colors shot into the cloudy nighttime skies, with an orderly crowd of spectators who reside inside and outside of our neighborhood.
While sitting in our lawns chairs wrapped in blankets and sipping on rum and Cokes, something really odd occurred to me. The Native Americans can sell and shoot off fireworks, but no one else in our city can. Because they are a nation separate and apart from the United States, they are allowed to write their own laws which govern their community. And seeing as though Native Americans were the first oppressed race in America that are now celebrating the way we used to celebrate felt kind of surreal. We will be cited if we're spotted setting off any type of firework. With us being only feet from reservation land, it's really, really weird.
Don't get me wrong as I'm not saying that as a nation the Native Americans shouldn't be able to celebrate July 4th, but it's somewhat disconcerting that no one else in our city can celebrate the way we used to: With fireworks! Yes, I know they can be dangerous, but we were perfectly fine losing a finger or two at the cost of a truly spectacular pyrotechnic display. (LOL)
Sometimes the powers-that-be can over-emphasize safety over tradition. I remember when my Father would buy the BIGGEST box of fireworks in the neighborhood, and then shoot them off for everyone to see. Nothing burned down, no one was hurt. Maybe we were lucky? Nonetheless, it was an important part of our July 4th celebration. Our own city didn't put on a fireworks display. What the hell's going on? Yet again, another example of the Graying of America.
Hopefully our officials will let up on some of the restrictions which limit our use of fireworks (i.e., reduce the height of aerial displays, allow ground displays, etc.). We can't lose EVERYTHING which makes us "us." Our customs are being lost to practicality. Can you be reasonable and still enjoy life to its fullest?
I shouldn't have to be live vicariously from my lawn chair.
As of late, it's been awfully quiet. No migraine-inducing ultra-bass-playing mofos to be found ANYWHERE! I wonder where they all went?
I think that funds have ran low; baby's mamas have finally decided not to finance the foolery; their own moms have put them out of the basement; they're incarcerated; aliens took them? (LOL) It's been bliss to not be awakened whenever one of these idiots think it's time for the slumbering neighborhood to be startled awake to a barrage of n____ this or n_____ that.
My husband and I had a chuckle at some young lad that thought he was jammin'. We pulled up to the stoplight next to this dude, and then what he construed as music started. Huh??? No bass??? Well, I glanced over to my left to see he had a laptop riding shotgun in the passenger seat. The fool was playing rap music from a laptop! N_____ this and n_____ that all muted and sh*t! He's just bobbin' his head in time like: "I'm bad...I'm bad!!!" (LMBAOOO) At least he spared us all from that hideous noise which he calls music.
I haven't even heard The Bongo Boys roll past my building. Summer usually brings out the worst in these young wannabe gangstas, but...nothing. Hmmmm...where did they all go? Not missing them: Just asking.
First thing this morning, I thought about my clubbing days, and where my ex-club buddies were. I don't know why at this particular point in my life I would think about them besides the fact I'm 51 years old, and they've got to be close to my age (or older, in some cases). I'm married, have children, AND grandchildren. Do they?
I worked with one of my clubbers in dietary at the local university hospital. I distinctly remember her fair skinned self trying to tan herself into looking darker. It was obvious she had a lack of confidence in her mixed heritage as she would only date dark skinned Black men, and wouldn't even consider dating White men (even though she was half white). She was in school to become an x-ray technician, and I doubt if she made it through the program. She partied WAY too much, and continually failed her exams.
Another partier was quite tall. She towered over me, and was somewhat intimidating with her size. She was younger than I, and had fake identification. Funny as hell as one night we tried to enter the club, and the dummy had a dark-skinned woman's ID. With her being extremely fair-skinned, I seriously doubted she would gain entrance. The doorman laughed in her face AND took her ID, too! She was man hungry, and wanted to go to the NCO Club that was on the military base. I didn't want to go because these dudes were thirsty and starved. I wasn't given up my stuff to just anyone! (LMBAOOO)
Then there was another dude-ish looking chick I partied with very briefly. I didn't hang out with her that long because she enjoyed being high. She'd drop pills and drink alcohol. I wasn't into the "high" thing. That's a very dumb practice when you're out clubbing. You'll wake up in a back alley with no clothes nor wallet.
And then there was John. He started partying with the aforementioned chick until they had a falling out. Strange thing being is that I don't remember his last night, but I do recall it was German. He, too, enjoyed a variety of inebriates which included pills and alcohol. Often times, he licked postage stamps of speed, and would go off on a tangent all willy-nilly like. Though he was fun when we partied, he was a real bitch when we weren't. I think he was mentally unstable, and I never felt comfortable outside of the club with him.
I stopped clubbing when I met my husband. He wasn't into partying at clubs, and I guess that was all well and good. I pulled it together, got my nurses' degree, created a business, married, had children, grandchildren, blah, blah, blah. I wonder if my buddies had the same successes? Good question. They were hot messes that didn't seem to fit in any other environment other than the club scene. Maybe I should look them up?
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