(should sex NOT be this big ass mystery?)
It's always interesting when parents decide to tell their children about sex (if they do). I guess some children will learn from osmosis? When I got my first period, my Mother gave me a "care kit" which included one horrible strap-on Kotex and a booklet on human reproduction. "If you have any questions, feel free to ask me," was about all I got in terms of sex education, but at least it was something. I had early lessons in terms of learning how things really were beyond the safety of my parent's door. They were invaluable lessons for someone like me who developed at such a young age.
I do not think my Mother understood how really bad it was out there. For some reason, we Black girls stuck together. We knew to be the most cautious of those who others trusted: Our teachers. My first experience with inappropriate behavior was with one of my elementary school instructors. Though without any previous sexual experience, I knew his proximity and touches were unsuitable, that his requests for me to stay after school were not to be heeded. He had the nerve to have a sleep-over at his house. NONE of the Black girls went. We just knew this dude had some really bad intentions.
The predators which continually attempted to lure us into their cars on our way to school? Classic.
And then there were the high school instructors. The librarian who continually made sex jokes. I remember his eyes all goopy with some sort of discharge, and me begging my friend to sit with me during my T.A. period. He was one sick puppy!
I once had a chemistry teacher that was more hilarious than freakish. Nothing offensive with him. He'd teach the class from behind his lab table, blah-blah-blah. One day we were almost asphyxiated by him taking lithium from its oil suspension, putting it on a paper towel vowing it can be exposed to oxgyen for a few minutes without igniting, and then watching it ignite after 30 seconds. Worst still was him immersing the flaming mineral in water, and choking on the billowing smoke which resulted. Yes, he was fairly daffy. It was just funny in that I don't think he realized what he brought back from Japan. What I first thought were salt and pepper shakers were actually ceramic penises. They were removed the next day.
Let alone college professors trying to exchange grades for sex.
With all this said, you'd think in this day and age that children would be told about the birds and bees. It amazed me to learn how a 17 year old girl in this area was coaxed by a college music professor to take off her clothes and masterbate in front of him. He told her he was doing a study on sexual arousal and how it affected vocal performance. She said he told her that this would make her be able to reach lower octaves while singing. Was she naive? Or sheltered by her parents? If she knew this man was attempting to take advantage of her, it might have spared her the memory of acting so idiotically.
So what's the point to all this? Not discussing sex in at least it's basic form suits no purpose other than leaving your children open to any predator that may pop up. They won't have the knowledge in which to compare their information given to them from a trusted source against what some predator might be saying. Just tell them the basics, and sprinkle in a little worldly-type scenarios. It just may save you and them from a lifetime of regrets.
rainwriter jones
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