Responsibility. Quite a mouthful for young babes. I have been trying to instill a sense of "caring for someone outside yourself" type of attitude with my daughters. Sometimes it works without intervention, sometimes I have to use a firm hand to get my point across.
My elder daughter BEGGED me to keep a feral kitten a few days ago. I was going to let nature take it's course, but changed my mind seeing as though she is older now (nearly 19), and should be able to take responsibility for this young life with a wee bit of help from myself. Well, the kitten stopped sucking on the nipple about 24 hours ago, and was in obvious need of hydration and nutrition. What was she doing? Online and texting! I'm like, damn, call the doctor and see if there is anything you should be doing to help it. If she doesn't survive, at least you know YOU did all you could. Reluctantly, she goes to the vet and picks up a syringe to force-feed the kitten. She comes back, feeds the kitten, and then smiles with pride.
Yes, as adults we have to look outside of what we want to do for the betterment of those around us. Being "self-less" is a difficult concept for some to grasp, but it is very rewarding once you get it.
I wonder when young adults "get it." Do you know? Please help me out on this one! (LOL)
rainwriter jones
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My experience has been that folks don't really "get it" until they have experienced a few failures on their own. AND those lessons have to sting in ways that matter to the learner. One of my greatest parenting challenges was knowing my child was going to fail and doing nothing and allowing it to happen. You mostly hope and pray that they learn quickly and don't get life changing challenges too soon.
ReplyDeleteLin: You see, that's one of the things I'm having trouble with; letting her fail. Seeing as though she has just entered adulthood, trying to tell her NOT to do something, or the opposite, is like pulling my own hair out! (lol) Launching a steel toed boot into her buttocks has been the only way to get her motivated...and it raises my blood pressure.
ReplyDeleteBut, I hear you. At least with my toes protected, I won't get 'em mashed when she falls.
Remember, there are children who "get it" better than many adults, who share and want to make the world better.
ReplyDeleteFrankly, I think it's more a matter of personality and direction. Some folk are more outwardly/other focused. And some are just easily distracted (ooo, shiny!).
Until they see the consequences of their action, or inaction, they will be clueless. And unfortunately, they are not usually the only ones hurt.
Sorry to be such a downer - just been through this one a lot recently ...
kats_aura: Yes, these adult "children" often can pull others into their situations. Me, with the 1-week old kitten and her occasional absence. Not seeing outside of the fact of her needs, not willing or able at this point to put them aside for another.
ReplyDeleteTrying to stay out of range of the backlash is the real trick. It's hard not getting pulled into it, either. I can only hope that this disconnect is only a phase, and she will eventually "get it." In the meantime...my steel toed boots are daily attire.