Monday, January 30, 2012

Stingy Ex-Boyfriends and the Feline Connection

lounging Felix by rainwriter jones


Last night, I watched my cat Felix attempt to lie in my lap. As I continually waved him off, he changed his direction in an effort to gain lap access. For some reason, it reminded me of one my ex-boyfriends: A selfish slip of a man who only had his own best interest at heart. That was to get what he wanted no matter if it was good for me.

We'll just refer to him as "B." He was a real piece of work. A self-serving troll that floated back and forth between me and the future mother of his child. I don't know if he ever married her, but I do recall an awkward moment of being at my friend's house for a barbeque with my present-day husband, and seeing him and his quite pregnant, pig-faced woman walking up the lawn. I also remember seeing his sorry ass on the 5 o'clock news. At that time he worked for a car dealership, and there was a dispute over medical insurance.

My main problem with him is this: He was a LOUSY lover! I guess I can't really call him a lover; just a sex partner. He always thought of himself, with his no pleasure-providing self. The type to have "his," and then not only roll over without providing "mine," but take the blanket, too! There's something about a man/woman who doesn't pleasure his/her partner that can equate to an all-around inconsiderate person.

Yes, I've thought of him recently, and why I subjected myself to such torment. One thing I know for sure is that he provided me with the information I needed to choose someone special. A person who not only thought about himself and his needs, but what I needed or better yet: Desired. He was just a cog in the wheel of relationships, and a much-needed lesson on how not to find yourself saddled to such a brute on a long-term basis.

My thoughts are these:

1. If he/she rolls over after sex, they're not for you.

2. If he/she floats endlessly between you and another sex partner, they're not for you. (unless both of you are into that). (lol)

3. If he/she chooses an ugly girlfriend/boyfriend instead you, they DEFINITELY aren't for you!

4. And definitely, very definitely, if he/she doesn't satisfy you sexually NEVER EVER MARRY THEM!

I'm of the mind that a gratifying sex life is essential to a good relationship. If one partner is not happy, the other wouldn't be, either. But that is only me. There are others who choose to live a life of abstinence. To each his/her own. But if, and only if, your partner doesn't require physical satisfaction, too.

So what does this have to do with my cat? That's a good question. Maybe it was because it wasn't a reciprocal relationship. He would have gotten a warm lap, and I might have gotten flies? (LOL) Oh well. He didn't get my lap, and I didn't get a lap full of fur.

And no, I'm not lying. His lady did look like a pig!

rainwriter jones