Where do I start? Well, from the beginning of his story. A tiny baby born to parents who didn't want him. The two of them made a decision to put him up for adoption in lieu of parenting. In comes two parents who chose to adopt him, wanting to make sure that he felt loved: Wanted. That it wasn't a mistake for being born, but a miracle that he was created. And after 3 days, the birth parents take him back. With this, the psychological abuse commences with the father walking out after three years, and the mother being emotionally vacant. He's left to raise himself while the adoptive couple helplessly looks on.
I have personally seen this story re-enacted over and over. One parent walks out, leaving the other parent to take on the entire burden of raising a child on their own. In this particular situation, both parents were (are) dysfunctional. But there are other instances wherein one parent is more capable to taking care of the child(ren), but the OTHER parent has custody. The result are dysfunctional children who turn into dysfunctional adults. There is an endless cycle of men and women who never had a nurturing relationship with the custodial parent, nor the part-time parent. They cannot emotionally connect with others. If you've never seen what it is to be loved, how can you love?
I'm not knocking single parenthood. Though in the past, I had my doubts regarding the viability of such a relationship. However, it works in certain circumstances wherein there is a support system established between the single mother or father and other family members, friends, etc. I have a friend who single-handedly raised two beautiful, functional children without the aid of a deadbeat father. In this instance, the removal of the father from the equation was to the benefit of the children. I'm referring to a custodial parent who is incapable of raising a well-balance child due to their lack of parenting skills, drug abuse, or lack of "availability." Those who check out of their parenting responsibilities, or were never emotionally available to begin with. Those who show no love toward their offspring. These children have a tendency to engage in anti-social behavior.
It's too bad that parents aren't assessed for their ability to love their children. Just a hug, a kiss, or a word of encouragement is all some of these kids need to become productive citizens. But here we sit, and we wait, and we cry as to what has happened to these children right before our eyes. I know because I'm the adoptive parent who could only stand by while my son's life was ruined. Yes, I call him my son because he was, if only for three days...
rainwriter jones
Posts
