Sunday, July 17, 2011

The Tender Mercies of Forgotten Naughties

"indulge" by rainwriter jones

Love’s In Bloom…
(from a clinical standpoint)

A herpes zoster:
Sam remained buried and long forgotten.
A chain-smoking virus.
A booze-guzzling shingle.
A herpetic lesion that drunk dials
at 2:45 a.m. after the pub closed.

An oozing blister
to which Rhonda applies salve…


I think we've all misplaced things. In a hurry, set down car keys someplace you normally don't put them, and then have one hell of a time locating them (especially when you HAVE to be I have this tendency to set something down with the intention of coming back for it later, just to forget where I had placed it. But there are some things that never should be forgotten, laid places, left behind. Some items which, when discovered, will cast a discerning eye upon the person who left it. Damn!

Years ago when my husband and I were just married, we assisted in moving a family member's belongings to her new apartment. Have you ever had an impression of someone who seems conservative? Well, she was one of these type of folks who obviously had an alternative lifestyle because what we found amongst the boxes shocked us! Yep, pornography! Real tasty bits of flesh mixed with some devilishly delicious body parts. Also included in this array of naughtiness was a few toys, lotions, and edible underwear. Well, being the youngsters we were, we figured taking one or two items wouldn't be missed, so we took a book called "Ass Masters." (LMBAO)

Fumming through the book was quite interesting. Men and women in all sorts of compromising positions and all, laughing at their glasses all catty-whompess on their heads as they (and we) lost ourselves in their provocative scenes. The funny part of it all was the fact that our dearly beloved had all this freaky shit in her possession! Lawd have mercy!

We placed the book in the glove box of our car: And forgot about it. Now this is where forgetting something can get you into a world of hurt. We sold the car with the book in the glove box to none other than...*drum roll puh-lease* MY FATHER!!! Try explaining the unexplanable to your parent. It wasn't originally ours, but no one was going to believe us.

Hmmmmm, I wonder where that book eventually ended up? Do YOU have it? (LMBAOOOO)

rainwriter jones

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