Monday, October 31, 2011

R. J.'s Rules of Satisfactory Internet Interactions (welcome to my window...)

promise and decay by rainwriter jones


A few days ago, I read the comments on a friend's Facebook page wherein another person had attempted to pry out personal information. I watched as the poster very tactfully evaded answering the questions from the postee. I'm like, damn, back off!

It reminded me of the interactions I had when I was an internet virgin. Since 2006, I've seen so much online, and have lived to tell the tale. Many of you may remember Yahoo! 360? A hot bed of messiness. Back in the day when I used to frequent IM, random folks would just pop up in my status window to chat, or appear on my page and make weird comments. I had some dude who called himself "Joe" from the United Arab Emirate. As I was fairly green at the time, I allowed him to speak to me from time to time. One day things turned ugly as I saw his cartoon avatar turn into the blank white form. Then he threatened to harm me! Uhhh...shit!

And then there was another character who was cool until I figure he stopped taking his bipolar medications. He stalked me through my page to get to another blogger. It scared me so much that I left blogging for a while. Hell, not everyone in cyberspace are what they present themselves to be.

I still consider myself one of the friendlier folks online (pats self on back). I'm eager to meet new people, gain new insights into other cultures/lifestyles. At one time, I chatted with a dominatrix and her sex slave. She was a really nice lady who loved cats just like me. Problem being her sex slave kept creeping out of my closet, licking my shoes, or crawling from beneath my skirt. He served morning coffee with sugar, and LOTS of cream! But...he was a nice guy. (LMBAO)

Through the years, I've come up with my very own internet rules of engagement. Here they are:

1. Unresponsiveness. If you just sit on my page week after week without uttering a single word (not even a wave, or that you're still "alive"), I'll delete you. I recently deleted a fellow who was cool, and then went dead. I left a note on his page, and messaged. He didn't respond, so he's gone.

2. Flirting. Okay, don't get me wrong. I LOVE flirting! I do it very frequently, but if (and only if), I've known you for at least 6 months or more. I want to make sure you ain't gonna appear on my doorstep with a woody. I had a dude say that my cheesy, gap-toothed grimace was "amazing." You could see the plaque build-up on me teethies; that's how absurd his statement was. Ya, right! That made me feel like a used piece of toilet paper, so I flushed him.

3. Threatening violence. Well, that's more than obvious.

4. My humor, my page. Many folks can get their panties in a winch with the things I find funny. If you're reading this post, you're probably cool. Besides, I've made sure to show the parental guidance page before anyone enters my world. It can get raunchy. I had more folks "unfriend" me on 360 or Multiply because they thought I offended them. My page, my rules! Don't leave nasty comments about my conduct...just leave!

5. Exhibitionism. I love looking at naked body parts just as much as any other pervert. Add a sprinkle of sexual activity, I'm more than good. But, don't show me your "stuff" without getting explicit permission. I had this chick show me a picture of herself squeezing her titties together in one gigantic, amorphic mound of flesh. I'm like, DAMN! I didn't ask to see your business. It just came out of the blue: Her face; then knockers. I could have done without that vision. Til this day, I still have nightmares. She was immediately "unfriended."

I have several friends I peek in on to see what's happening with them, leave a note, a wave, a hug, or even a flirt. I make myself visible: Let you know I like you. It makes me smile when they do the same. Hey, I ain't no stalker...just a groupie! (LOL)

We all have our very own set of rules for interactions online. And though I've written only five, there are several more that I employ on occasion. I'm fairly flexible in bending the rules from time to time, but not about the exhibitionism. Please, don't show me your stuff!

rainwriter jones